Manic Depression Is A Frustrating Mess

There is a reason why my posts have been very limited over the last few weeks. As you can see from the title of this post the name of the monster I’ve been living with… not a nice house guest.

Many people know that manic-depression is the name people used to use for the “mental Illness” now called bi-polar disorder. The reason for the quote marks is because my experience with bi-polar disorder has me often referring to this as “a physical illness with a very strong mental component.”

There is a wide spectrum of experiences people have when dealing with this genetic disorder. Some people have stronger manias, or mood up-swings, some have stronger depressions, some people have moods that cycle rapidly, and some that live through long stretches of a particular end of the spectrum before swinging widely the other direction.

It’s a confusing, messy and very disrupting illness. It is also a chronic illness that kills a significant number of sufferers every year. Up till now the standard approach has been to find medications that suppress everything mood-wise, and that way eliminate the extreme highs and lows of the illness.

This approach can be useful when dealing with individuals that are going through the extremes of the illness and are a danger to themselves and others.

But when you’re a person who is very aware of his situation, works with all care to minimize the effects of this situation when it comes to other people, and is trying to have a healthy, creative life – the drugs become a real drag…

But I keep taking them – new and different cocktails of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, pills to wake up and pills to sleep… because I keep holding out the hope that one of these combinations will help… one day. (read more go to the  music play list…) Continue reading


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Some Things Are True, Whether You Believe Them Or Not.

This was my desktop for quite a long time… I took the quote from something I wrote a long time ago.

I like to remember how limited my knowledge and wisdom is, that there is a huge universe out there that I know nothing about… and there are just some things that are true, whether I believe it or not.

If you would like to have this image for your computer desktop, here you go… click the image below, then just right click the image and save it to your computer.

2008-10-26-some-things-are-true-desktop_0.jpg

please note: this image is copyrighted by onehumanbeing.com and Jon, onehumanbeing


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You Are Loved

Just so you remember…

I took this photo while we were in Portland, Oregon in late July. The image is of a stencil on a trashcan lid.


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Palinode – or – What I really meant was…

I was looking up the word “Palindrome” today and found this interesting word “Palinode: a poem in which a poet retracts something said in an earlier poem, a recantation.”

I don’t consider Sarah Palin a poet, but some might consider her a “salt-of-the-earth, bless-her-heart” type of plain-speaking poet… whatever. To me she sound’s like the head cheerleader in high school that mocked the smart people and had all her crowd backing her up on whatever mean thing came out of her mouth – but that’s a whole other subject. Back to Palinodes…

Here’s a bit I read online today that perfectly illustrates a “Palinode”:

Mrs. Palin’s campaign rhetoric is all about who’s more American than others -  that Barack Obama is different and not like the rest of us Americans… over and over again she sings the same campaign poem…

CNN: You’ve talked about America. And certain parts of America, that are maybe more American than other parts of American, Are there?

Palin: Ehhh, I don’t want that misunderstood. No, I do not want that misunderstood. You know, when I go to these rallies and we see the patriotism just shining through these people’s faces and the Vietnam veterans wearing their hats so proudly and they have tears in their eyes as we sing our national anthem and it is so inspiring and I say that this is true America, you get it, you understand how important it is that in the next four years we have a leader who will fight for you. I certainly don’t want that interpreted as one area being more patriotic or more American than another. If that’s the way it’s come across, I apologize.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/21/palin.sitroom.transcript/index.html

I like John McCain’s palinode about the American economy when he first said “The fundamentals of the American economy are strong” – and then the economy tanked and his new poem was that he meant that the American workers were strong, the best workers in the world. [Read here: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/09/15/mccain_fundamentals_of_economy.html]

And this brings me to why Palindrome (a word or phrase that reads the same forwards and backwards, like “otto”) is such an interesting word when it comes to the McCain campaign.

First they go one direction, and then they go the other, and they hope everyone will read whatever they want- whichever way they read it… as in: We’ll reduce the size of government and create greater federal oversight on the financial markets…

It’s not a big stretch to go from Palindrome to Palindrones – the strange people that have come out of the woodwork to flock to Sarah Palin’s rallies… more later on the Palindrones (Are Americans really that racist and stupid? I sure hope not…)

Again, back to Palinode – I’m sure you have your own favorite Palinode – Post your favorite Palinode in the comment section below…

Bonus Points: If you can find a Palindrome, and a Palinode and also the Palindrones in one news article I’ll come up with some special prize…

And now, from the UFO and Conspiracy Department:

Another way to read this could be the way some people read Nostradamus or the Bible codes, and say that Webster’s Dictionary (Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary. 1994 p. 1039) prophesied Sarah Palin’s rise to power – think it’s funny? Go look up the word “Palingenesis” and and think about it… What other mysteries lay inside that great book of wisdom? Inquiring Palindrones want to know…

What a strange world…

Note: Yes, I’m in a really bad mood and should be nicer and more loving…


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Bupropion HCL Tab – Generic for Wellbutrin

If you’re familiar with my photos for The MMJ Project that I use on WeedTracker.com, the photo above should look familiar…

… and a related item – here’s part of my menu posting on WeedTracker.com today:

 

CCLB Menu October 22th, 2008 | Wednesday
Hours: Mon-Sat 10am to 8pm | Sunday noon to 6pm
Note:The new menu schedule is now Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and a Weekend Herb Report.

An unseasonably hot day here in the LBC…

Here’s your herb report for today

If any of you have to deal with prescription meds for your conditions, especially for bi-polar disorder, you know what a pain it can be going through the changes.

Since this last summer I’ve been going through another change, another in a long line over the last 10 years… not looking for sympathy, just letting you know where I’m coming from.

This last batch – Seroquel (mood-stabilizer) and Wellbutrin (anti-depressant) have been nothing but drug fog, loss of my hours and days to sleep, and even worse, a decrease in effectiveness of the herb… Oh, and I’ve been in the midst of a crushing depression since last week… I was wondering if anyone else has experienced a prescription med/herb trade-off?

It’s been taking me so long to get anything done, so for a short little while my menu updates will probably suffer… I took photos last night (after trying to get over to CCLB since Saturday) of the Barry White and Danny Boy, and I’m just getting around to working on them now.

Needless to say, we’re decreasing the medication so we can try something else…

I am working on getting back to regular posting…

[update 10-22-2008 | 9:45pm - still haven't got the photos done...]


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