My appreciation for my collective – AAC

I posted this last night on WeedTracker.com – a service for medical marijuana users – on the AAC Forum (you have to sign-up at WeedTracker to view the page)

Smile My appreciation for this collective…

Volunteering at AAC…

Much of my volunteer time is spent at home, working on the computer. I have menus to update, photos to process, strains to research, changes to make to the AAC website… and sometimes I don’t spend enough time at the collective.

Today I was there from opening through most of the afternoon, and all I can say is I have great appreciation for my fellow volunteers – which is all of us at the collective – because they are an awesome crew of people that do this because they believe in this cause and helping others.

But the best part of being in the shop is the members that come through – both the regulars and the new members – each one a bright spot in our day as we worked on our various projects, meetings, brainstorming sessions, and just hanging out.

We have some more trials and tribulations coming up this next week.

Signal Hill is trying to shut us down because they’re concerned about increased crime.

We are launching a grassroots campaign to help ease their concerns. Information will be posted tomorrow and this weekend on our website, and I’ll have new buttons to give away this weekend that say: LEGAL MEDICINE REDUCES CRIME

Stop by and pick one up, and find out how you can help us save the collective!

Until later, best of health,
Jon, onehumanbeing

I wanted to share it with the rest of you…

Note: AAC’s website is aacollective.com – visit a real live medical marijuana colective’s website – with pictures of herb and everything! You have my permission to visit – over 18 only – There’s nothing bad on the site, it’s just the rules – sorry…  AAC closed in the Fall of 2010

The Turning – A Mythical, Non-Fiction Story

The Turning | June 2008 – June 2015

The Beginning…

the-turning-crop-bIt was just a thought that hit me last June, middle of the afternoon, and I jotted it down on a scrap of paper, and went on with my day – The Turning – 7 Years – 6/2008 – 6/2015…

I didn’t give it another thought for a few days, until I came across the scrap of paper with my note. It seemed liked an ominous, or important sounding event, and I had no idea at that point what kind of a whirlpool I was being pulled into…

To some people it might seem strange to follow a strange thought, an “out-of-the-blue” kind of thought, but I’m used to these kinds of thoughts or impressions – they have their own particular resonance, like intelligence riding in a wave length being picked up my a human receiver. I write them down, and I’ve been writing them down for years.

I think I’ve always been tuned to these frequencies or waves, and ever since I was fifteen my receiver has been tuned finer and finer, and now I hear the words being sent rather than just having to rely on guesses made from impressions and misunderstood visions that are part of the language of the unconscious.

My world is a world just like yours, and our paths may cross every day, but I see things you don’t and have heard things you can not hear because I live in this world and another.

It took me a long time to understand how different the worlds are – for a long time I thought they were one world, but now I understand that I just see more than most people, and certainly not as much as others see… I call this world “The Natural Super-Natural”…

Introducing The Wind…

My way of moving through the world can best be described as being like the wind.

Here’s a poem I wrote back in January of 1999 called “I Am The Wind” that illustrates what I mean:

I am the wind
and the Lord trains me like the wind
with pressures high and low
to guide me on the way

The wind carries the weather
that guides our every day
and though no one sees it
everyone feels it,
and sees it’s effects everywhere

The clouds and rains are carried by the wind
out of the desert and from the north,
down every street
and across every path,
through cracks in windows,
and under every door,
and like the poet says
“you don’t need a weatherman
to tell you which way the wind blows”

Blowing hot like fire or cold as ice
the same wind blows
when it is sent

The wind strengthen the plants
and gives music to our chimes
and all is the work
of the mighty Hand of God

The Lord walks on the wings of the wind
a whisper on it’s breath
We rejoice as it lifts our kites
though it brings terrors in the night

A breeze, a gust, a north wind
a hurricane, a tornado…
Gentle and awesome might
in the Hand of the Almighty
No one can stand before the wind

January 9, 1999

 

I wrote that over ten years ago, a long time before I learned last October that my Mayan day sign on their sacred calendar is The Wind – a Tone 5 Wind or the North Wind, known Ho Ik  – The Empowering Wind – on this ancient calendar called The Tzolkin.

tzolkinThe Tzolkin is divided into 20 day signs of 13 tones each that create a cycle of twenty different 13 day “weeks” called Trecenas. The tones and the day signs roll endlessly together like a wheel inside a wheel.

The complete cycle takes 260 days, and is about the same length as the gestation period. Simply put, the Maya believe that each of us is one of 260 pieces of the sun, and when we are born or come through the water we are marked by the sun, giving each of us basic identity that marks our path for us.

A part of our journey in life is to find harmony with the other 259 pieces of the sun.

Finding out my day sign was ‘The Wind” sent a shock-wave of reflection through me that I’m still feeling today – about nine months later – because it was a completely accurate description of myself.

If you are curious about your Mayan day sign you can go here : The Maya Tzolkin Explorer

My Details…

My birth date is June 18, 1964 and I was born shortly after two in the afternoon in Glendale, California at the second hospital my mother had to go to in order for me to be born, and here I entered this world in the Zodiac sign of Gemini, The Twins, in the Chinese Year of The Dragon.

In ancient China the dragons are considered the winds and the bringers of rain. In the Zodiac, Gemini, the Twins, are guided by Mercury and are considered the messengers of the gods, and the messengers of the gods ride on the wind…

If you were to see me in a certain way, you would see a blue, two-headed dragon (more on the two-headed part later) that rides the storms and delivers the messages of heaven – but very few can see that way… most people see the collections of cells that contain my consciousness, my physical body, and think that’s me, Jon.

It is and it isn’t, and where the line between the worlds exists is one of the mystery I explore…

In a way, I can see myself as a consciousness or a collective-consciousness that acts as care-taker over a massive super-organism of cells that are all individuals in their own right. It’s as if my body were a galaxy and my awareness was the collective-consciousness of all the billions of individual parts. Out of many, one – onehumanbeing.

Next – Chapter One – Helter Skelter

Note: The Turning is an ongoing work of fiction, growing organically, from now till 2015, and may be changed or edited further…

Tracking The Storm on Facebook

I had a pretty bad depression storm move in this last week, and I’ve been tracking it by making daily posts on Facebook. Tonight I thought I’d try to elaborate a little on those postings…

Day 1 – Wednesday

This storm started on Wednesday morning, the 22nd – I could feel the storm coming and I tried to hang on to the positive mindset I woke up with, only to have it slip away as the morning wore on… that night on Facebook I wrote:

Facebook Posting: Wednesday, July 22nd 10:56pm

Heavy and dark depression today – tired of the mantras of stupidity and failure endlessly repeating themselves in my head, for hours, all day long…

Mantras or looping tapes – don’t know what to really call them – just the endless repeating of crap – STUPID STUPID STUPID SHITHEAD FAILURE… (that and worse) over and over all day long… it really does gets a little tiring and if you had to live through it (and many people do) you’d quickly understand why people turn to alcohol and drugs to numb their poor, tortured soul.

Day 2 – Thursday

I was hoping this storm would just be a quick, little, one day event, but no, it continued on into Thursday – and I woke up to those same crappy tapes playing in my head  – the same as when I went to bed – damn. Just relentless from the word go…

Later on, I ended up watching an interesting documentary on the Catholic Channel on TV (who knew we had a Catholic Channel?!?) about a priest named Father Solanus Casey. I’ll write more on Father Solanus in a future post.

Facebook Posting: Thursday, July 23rd 10:47 am

Another heavy and dark day – Slowly posting a retrospective of my paintings – So far – Line Abstracts from the mid 1990’s – http://onehumanbeing.com/blog/resources/art-works-a-retropective/line-abstracts/

I’ll let people know when more work is posted…

I thought I’d do my best to work through the storm, but I didn’t get very far and spent most of the rest of the Thursday sleeping.

Day 3 – Friday

Facebook Posting: Friday, July 24th 4:41 pm

Depression – Day Three – Yet one more time down this road… Today the depression moved on to the physical part – like having the flu – sort of. Hopefully that means this storm will move out in a day or so. I’ve been here many times before…

In my opinion, depression is a physical illness that affects your thinking and thought processes. As a bout of depression runs it course, I have days where it’s mostly a physical experience – tired, nauseous, achy, irritable and uncomfortable in my own skin – very much like how the flu feels.

This phase can mean this bout is nearly over, or it’s just warming up for round two… I just have to wait and see.

There’s a line in a song by The Verve that runs through my head on these days “Just tie yourself to the mast my friend and the storm will end…” It helps keep me alive.

On Friday evening I went with Tania to Friday Night Happy Hour, a weekly tradition with our friends, which I’ve been skipping out on lately because of depression-related issues, and did my best to be present. Our friends and the co-founders of our little Happy Hour group are leaving this next week on amazing new adventures – and I couldn’t miss their last Happy Hour with us.

Day 4 – Saturday

Facebook Posting: Saturday, July 25th 1:14 pm

Depression Day Four – 15% better – Took photos at AAC this morning of Pure Kush, The Purps and Razzle Berry – beautiful herbs! Will be posted on the AAC menu later today (this is my volunteer work that keeps me going) http://aacollective.com/inside/menu/

On Saturday morning I was determined to start turning this around – wake up – go take photos – come home and spend the afternoon processing photos – go, go, go and out-run the tape loops… on sugar and fake energy, anxiety and frustration – doesn’t work for long and I end up just drained before the day is nearly half over.

Day 5 – Sunday

Sunday – is it Sunday? No, just Fogday in my head and I can’t shake it… sometimes the clouds seem like they’re going to clear, but no, just a false hope and more gray fog thickly and slowly oozing through my day and into the evening…

Facebook Posting: Sunday, July 26th 11:04 pm

Depression Day 5 – gray fog and heavy clouds – now it’s just settled in, thick with slow motion… an endless day with tiny, quickly evaporating breaks in the mental weather.

Tough storm so far, but you never know… tomorrow could be the day I wake and the sun will be shining on my eyelids and whispering appreciations and hopes that blow away the looping tapes and make this just a memory and a story.

The Monster Pill, Part 2 – Jelly Paws and Black Hole Suitcases…

Continued from The Monster Pill – July 19, 2009…

jellypaws_drawing_websized

Last summer, and during August in particular, I went through a really bad depression – I mean – really bad. As you can see from the drawing to the left that I made of my brain in my sketchbook during that time it was not good.

On the same page I made this drawing I wrote the following – I call it…

Jelly Paws

We’re just soft tissue
with sharp claws
hidden in our jelly paws
with anxiety triggers
and stress-blinded attack plans…

Lazy, selfish,
lulled by isolation
into fearful creatures
launching preemptive strikes
shock and awe with sharp claws
and we roll on and on…

A few pages after this entry I made my drawings of The Monster Pill, which I posted yesterday, inspired by the ongoing and eternal prescription medication hassles…

Seriously people, in my opinion, nothing helps Bi-Polar II more than good medical marijuana (and good diet, exercise, sunlight… which I should do more of…) – but I faithfully go through the never-ending (over ten years now) search for a really effective prescription medication.

While I’m covering drawings and writings from last August, here’s my Black Hole Suitcases

fly_paper_mind_1_websized

Black Hole Suitcases

Everything I’ve left undone
has stuck to my flypaper mind.
They struggle and die in the place where I hide
them away
and come back as suitcases filled with black holes.

Take my suitcases and give them wings
give them life, and flight, and a place to go.
I’m just going to lie down here because it’s all become too heavy for me…

This was just a few pages after The Monster Pill drawings and was one of a several attempts I made to document the depression while it was happening… I continued to struggled with this particular bout of depression through late October, 2008, when I finally got a month or so of good energy while we switched my medications, again.


The Monster Pill

the-monster-pill-transfor

If I’m okay, then you’re okay…

In a world that is often childish and emotionally driven, I find there are days when I’m less than my ideal self, and everything I do seems to be a reaction from my emotional storms and bi-polar-coaster ride.

On those days the old 70’s saying “I’m OK, you’re OK” gets warped and twisted around my fragile ego, and becomes something like “If I’m okay, then you’re okay…”, which is the opposite of my preferred outlook of “If you’re okay, then I’m okay…”

The little guy in the drawing above is The Monster Pill – I originally drew him last summer and he’s now available on kids clothing at Cafe Press, as well as adult clothing too… here’s some examples – click on them to go to my Cafe Press shop and get something for your kid, or the kid in you…

The Infant Body Suit – starting at $15 plus shipping…

themonsterpill_logo_onesy

The Monster Pill Kids Dark T-Shirt – starting at $22 plus shipping…

themonsterpill_logo_kids_t_

And for Adult-size kids… The Angry Monster Pill Dark T-Shirt – starting at $22 plus shipping…

onehumanbeing_logo_t_black_

More styles available at the onehumanbeing shop at Cafe Press

Enter The Dragon Flower

“Out Here On The Perimeter… We Are Stoned, Immaculate…”  – Mr. Mojorisin

dragonflower-1One of the great moments in the life of a marijuana smoker – medical or otherwise – is getting a new pipe… and how nice when it comes to you as a gift from a friend.

It’s a little bittersweet because it’s a going away gift (he’s leaving – not me) from a friend and fellow artist I’ve gotten to know over the last 5 years, and a crucial part of our Happy Hour group.

I won’t mention his name to protect his identity… this was his personal pipe, and now I have become the proud owner of this nice piece of glass. I stayed home last night and didn’t make it to Happy Hour – bad depression – but my wife went and brought the gift home with her.

It’s a beautifully strange pipe, and I immediately started to clean it (place in ziplock baggy – soaked in rubbing alcohol and salt – shake vigorously every so often and the salt will scrub your glass pipe sparkling clean – rinse in hot, then cold water – sometimes I soak in hot water with Ivory dish soap for 15 mins to really clean it…) – and when I finished cleaning it up this morning I gave it a new name – The Dragon Flower

dragonflower-2

Here’s The Dragon Flower – after I used it a few times, packed with a fresh bowl of The MoJo – a Northern Lights X White Widow strain that is very good for depression… currently available at AAC to qualified medical marijuana patients – here’s some photos I took of The MoJo…

Thank you my friend for the gift, I will make sure it never gets lonely…

Election 2008 – Finally Over…

2008-11-04-stew_election_break_web

Here’s the graphic I posted the day we voted, November 4th, 2008, as I was in the midst of writing my “STEW” story based on Esau and Jacob as a metaphor of the Obama/McCain situation, and as the story is told – you can read it starting in Genesis 25 – Jacob gets everything, and Obama, being Jacob in this story, gets everything.

For 8 months I’ve been waiting for today to continue the story, but I had to wait for the Coleman/Franken court battle to end. Congratulation to Senator-Elect Al Franken of Minnesota. Indeed – Jacob got everything. So now we’re back on the Biblical narrative (actually we never left it – the last 8 months of Republican melt down are recorded in Genesis 27:41 – 28:9)

Coming up in the story – Jacob returns to his ancestors home, The Night and the Dream of God and Angels (I have a whole bunch of UFOs ready for this episode) and soon, Jacob’s Struggles…

My friends, we live in most unusual times, be both glad and mourn, for the times, they are a changin’…

I cry for my brother Esau and the lot he has chosen, but I’m leaving with Jacob and heading into the night…

Until later, best of health,
Jon, onehumanbeing