Newt Gingrich Superstar

From a musical that will never be written (most likely)…

The Transfiguration of Newt

The Transfiguration of Newt

Standing above a gathering of his followers, Newt was transfigured before their eyes into a being of brilliant light, and assembled with him were a host of corporate and media talking heads.

A great American flag came down from heaven in a thunderous display of patriotic fervor.

Newt’s followers quickly built an altar and camped there one week.

The Crucifixion of Newt

The Crucifixion of Newt

Later on, in an effort to win the Republican nomination, Newt had himself nailed, face-first, to a large olive wood cross.

However, the act of self-sacrifice did little to resurrect his presidential campaign…

Piss Newt

Piss Newt

After many days, a strange photograph appeared showing the crucified Newt submerged in a jar of what was said to be “artist’s urine.”

His campaign released a statement saying the photo was “blasphemous”, “the work of deranged NEA artist types”, “probably funded by a Romney SuperPAC”, and “clearly shows unorthodox American values that undermine the sanctity of church and state”, etc., etc…

The artist Andres Serrano, who was the target of Newt’s attack on the NEA back in the 1990’s for his photograph called Piss Christ, was not contacted for comment, and is not believed to be responsible for this latest piece.

STEW: part three

2008-11-05-2008_11_5_stew_part3

Welcome To The WE Generation…

It is late in the evening of November 5, 2008 and I am amazed at what I’m watching, feeling and seeing coming to pass… it’s like watching as the world begin to turn, but it only seems that way because of the long night and the early fingers of light that are just beginning to shoot across the horizon.

Today I thought back about 6 or so years ago when I worked at the Gazette Newspapers in Long Beach, and we had an office manager named Kenya.

Kenya has a white father and black mother, kind-of-like Barack, and we would talk about the black/white thing once in a while.

One morning when I was talking to her about this issue I said, “You know Kenya, the world is upside down…The last shall be first, and a change will come…”

Why do I believe this?

Because I am a child of 1964, and after 1964, everything changed… I grew up believing Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech.

Because both of my parents were from Springfield, Illinois, and Lincoln has been a hero of my since childhood.

He had a dream, and Martin had a dream, and they became my dream, and on January 20, 2009 the two come together in what WE have chosen to dream together – Change we can believe in…

In the night, unless you are awake and watching the sky, the light goes out and artificial light takes over until we sleep and dream. Everything looks different in artificial light. We hide from monsters, and jump when the wind blows against the house…

We have tried to comfort ourselves from the fear with myths and legends to protect us while we sleep, looking for clues that when morning comes everything will be alright, that our flag will still wave.

Welcome to dawns early light…

Tell me, can you see?

The flag does still wave and the blessing goes on. The new day does come and the torch of the night is passed, because we have one more night still to travel through, but that’s when a ladder comes down from heaven, and the glory of El-Shaddai will fill the Earth…

But before then, the light of day is about to burst around you, and what looked so strange in the night will look very different in the light of day.

That all aside, I can not tell you how much I am crying inside for the children of Esau…

To be continued.

STEW: part two

Introduction to Part Two

Welcome to Part Two of an election time allegorical story called STEW, or, How Esau Lost The 2008 Election.

And now for something completely different…

Today we have a semi-epic Biblical drama, Journey to Mesopotamia, to add more ingredients to this stew, and to help us understand the background of our story…

I imagined this drama in what I call “Star-Wars-o-Vision”, an epic and lush George Lucas-esque styling – available in wide screen HD for those of you with a great visual imagination.

Keep in mind all the allegorical imagery from Part One as we move ahead… all the pieces will add up as the story moves along.

Plagiarism Disclaimer: The following story is mostly lifted from Genesis 24:13-67 using the American Standard Version, the New American Standard Version and a few modifications of my own…

A Note on Hebrew Names for God:

Elohim is a Hebrew word for God which means: gods in the ordinary sense; but specifically used (in the plural) of the supreme God.

Jehovah is another of the Hebrew word for God which means: self existent or eternal; Jehovah, Jewish national name of God as in, Jehovah, the Lord.

Source – Strong‘s Hebrew and Greek Dictionary.

Journey to Mesopotamia

Scene I: The Oath

Setting: Widescreen view out over a vast desert landscape, bleak, but colorized a bit with some deeper colors to give it the “settling in to an epic story” feel. As the camera scans the desert a great settlement of tents, people and herds comes into view in the valley below… the camera shifts to inside of Abraham’s tent, decorated in early “Raiders of the Lost Ark” style…

Casting notes: Abraham is play by Jack Nicholson in this scene and his servant is played by Morgan Freeman, who is also the narrator, like in “The Shawshank Redemption“…

Abraham’s Servant: Our story begins after Abraham has mourned the death of his beloved wife Sarah…

In that day Abraham was old and advanced in age, and Jehovah had blessed Abraham in every way, but he could see his son Isaac was still heartsick because of his mother’s death.

One day Abraham called me into his tent, because I was his oldest and most trusted servant, and he made me swear an oath

Abraham: I will make you swear by El-Shaddai, the Elohim of heaven and the Elohim of earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the Daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, but you shall go to my country and to my relatives and take a wife for my son Isaac.

Abraham’s Servant: Suppose the woman will not be willing to follow me to this land; should I take your son back to the land where you came from?

Abraham [exploding]: Beware lest you take my son back there! El Shaddai, the Elohim of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and the land of my birth, and who spoke to me, and who swore to me, saying ‘To your descendants I will give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you will take a wife for my son from there.

But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this my oath; only do not take my son back there.

Abraham’s Servant: So I made an oath with Abraham concerning this matter. He gave me ten camels loaded with a variety of good things and special gifts he gave into my hand, and I left for Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor, the snoring father of civilization, back to the land that my master Abraham had left so long ago.

Scene II: The Well at Nahor

Setting: another view out over a vast desert landscape… the camera moves towards the caravan of ten camels that is coming to a stop at a desert well of water, it is late afternoon…

Abraham’s Servant: When I approached the city of Nahor, and came to the well where the women came to draw the evening water, I made the camels knee down and I dismounted.

I looked around me and made a request to the Jehovah, the Elohim of my master, Abraham.

Abraham’s Servant [inner voice – prayerfully spoken]:

O Jehovah, the Elohim of my master Abraham, send me, I pray thee, success this day, and show kindness unto my master Abraham.Behold, I am standing by the fountain of water.

The daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water, so let it come to pass, that the girl to whom I shall say, ‘Let down thy pitcher, please, that I may drink.’

And she shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also.’

May she be the one whom thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac. And thereby shall I know that thou hast showed kindness unto my master.

Abraham’s Servant continues: While I was still addressing Jehovah I saw coming towards me a beautiful maiden who I later found out was Rebekah who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, with her jar upon her shoulder.

Note on Rebekah’s name: could be translated from the Hebrew as “The clog, the fettering beauty born to the son who was destroyed by God, born of the queen to the snoring brother of Abraham” or something like that…see Strong’s Hebrew and Greek Dictionary.

Abraham’s Servant continues: This girl was very beautiful to look at, a virgin, who had not yet been touched for the very first time. She went down to the fountain, and filled her jar, and came up again…

Abraham’s Servant [running to meet Rebekah]: Give me to drink, please, a little water from your jar.

Rebekah [lowering her jar to her hand, and giving Abraham’s servant a drink]: Drink.

Rebekah [after Abraham’s servant finishes drinking]: I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking.

[Rebekah quickly emptied her pitcher into the watering trough, and runs back the well to draw more water, and continued until all the camels had been satisfied.]

Abraham’s Servant [narrating]: All the while I watched her, holding my peace, to know whether Jehovah had made my journey successful or not…

When the camels had finished drinking, I knew in my heart she was the one so I gave her a golden ring for her nose, and ten bracelets for her hands.

Abraham’s Servant [speaking to Rebekah]: Whose daughter are you and is there room in your father’s house for myself, my camels and my men to spend the night?

Rebekah: I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor. We have both straw and feed for your camels, and plenty of room for your men.

Abraham’s Servant [bowing his head – praying]: Blessed be Jehovah, the Elohim of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken his loving-kindness and his truth toward my master. As for me, Jehovah has led me in the way to the house of my master’s brothers.

Scene III: Mesopotamian Material Girl

Setting:  Large settlement with many people carrying on with the daily activities of Mesopotamian people about 3,500 years ago… the camera follows Abraham’s servant (Morgan Freeman) and Rebekah (early Madonna, “Like A Virgin” era) from the well to the house of Laban, the Mesopotamian – Rebekah’s brother (played by Rupert Murdoch in this scene)

Abraham’s Servant [narrating]: I waited as Rebekah ran off to tell her mother’s household.

Now Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban. Soon I saw Laban hurrying out to meet me by the well, because he had seen the gifts I had given Rebekah and had heard her story.

Laban: Don’t just stand there, come blessed of Jehovah… I have prepared the house, and room for the camels.

Abraham’s Servant [narrating]: So I went with Laban to his house where he unloaded the camels, gave them straw and feed and provided water to wash my feet and the feet of the men that were with me.

After this food was set before us to to eat…

Abraham’s Servant [speaking to Laban]: I will not eat, until I have told my business.

Laban: Speak.

Abraham’s Servant: I am Abraham’s servant, and Jehovah has blessed my master greatly. He has become great and Jehovah has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, many servant, and camels and asses.

Now Sarah, my master’s wife, has bore a son to my master in her old-age, and my master has given his son all he has.

Abraham’s Servant [narrating]: I continued to tell him about my oath to Abraham, my request to Jehovah and my meeting with Rebekah by the well…

Abraham’s Servant [continuing to speak to Laban]: If you will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me so. And if not, let me know, so that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.

Laban (with Bethuel at his side): The matter comes from Jehovah, and is not ours to decide whether this is good or bad.

Behold, Rebekah is before you, take her, and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as Jehovah has spoken.

Abraham’s Servant [narrating]: And it came to pass, that, when I heard their words, I bowed down to the earth and worshiped Jehovah.

After this I brought out jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and garments, and gave them to Rebekah. I also gave to her brother and to her mother precious things. Then we ate and drank until the morning.

Scene IV: Blessing Our Sister Rebekah

Setting:  Same as Scene III, only now it’s the morning after…

Abraham’s Servant [speaking to Laban]: Send me away to my master.

Laban: Let the girl stay with us a few days, at the least ten. After that she can go…

Abraham’s Servant: Do not delay me, seeing Jehovah has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master.

Laban: We will call the girl, and ask her.

[Rebekah enters the room]

Laban [speaking to Rebekah]: Will you go with this man?

Rebekah: I will go.

Abraham’s Servant [narrating]: And so they sent back to my master Abraham with Rebekah, their sister, with this blessing:

The Voices of Rebekah’s Kin [5 to 6  voices all speaking together]: May you, our sister, become the mother of thousands of ten thousands, and may your descendants possess the gate of those that hate them.

Scene V: Back To Canaan

Setting: another view out over a vast desert landscape… the camera moves towards a caravan of many camels, it is late afternoon…

Abraham’s Servant [narrating]: Rebekah arose, along with her maids, and they rode upon their camels, following me as I returned to my master Abraham and his son, Isaac.

Isaac lived in the Negev, or the south, along the way of Beer-lahai-roi (which means: the well of a living seer).

While Isaac was meditating in the field one evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and, behold, there were camels coming.

Meanwhile, Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel.

Rebekah [speaking to Abraham’s servant]: What man is this that walk in the field to meet us?

Abraham’s Servant: It is my master.

[Rebekah takes her veil, and covers herself. Isaac enters the scene]

Abraham’s Servant [narrating]: When Issac met us, I told him all the things that I had done.

After this, Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent, and she became his wife and he loved her.

With this, Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

End: Credits Start To Roll…

I hope you enjoyed my Bible story for today… I’ll have Professor Yarnhead here later to help explain some of the allegorical clues from this story.

Note: I was up late on the Monday writing and rewriting and rewriting this piece. I think I caught all my typos… let me know if you find anything I missed.

The Twins Story (the birth of Esau and Jacob) has been rescheduled for Tuesday, Election Day…

Also coming up on the 4th… Greed Stew for Esau and Blind Stew for Isaac.