The Turning – Helter Skelter

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The Dream of the Two-Headed Dragon

I remember the comfort… spread out like a blanket in the quiet dreams, and rest, and wisdom, and communion, everywhere, nowhere – the only existence.

I remember when I was the universe, before the journey that crossed your path – when all of time was one instant, one symphony.

It was you that woke me, it was your story that called me across the ages. You were my gravity. You were my reason to wake…

Your story came to me on a wave, on a memory, on the resonating notes of a string pluck so long ago… A string that resonated and hummed to life sending out ripples and waves, that sent out a song that woke all the strings within me that had gone quiet… and they started to hum with your song.

I had told you long ago we would never be apart, and at the edge of never, your song, your gravity called me back...

The Building Blocks of Life

There are many people that can tell you how the world is seen and known, but this story is about the unseen and the unknown and the pieces that have come together to form the small symphony of waves, sounds, connections, systems, worlds and galaxies that move around with me.

What is a human being? I wonder if we even know…

Biologically, I’m a union of billions of individual cells that form a manifestation of personal intelligence which creates what you see as my body.

My body is really borrowed organic material that will someday return to the stream of earth life, while life, the person I know as myself, will grow and evolve into… what?

The organic material that feeds my little personal galaxy was created from the death of stars, the death of plants, the death of billions of organic creatures that came before me. I was formed in the womb of death and destruction and it has given birth to life and creation.

But this story of life is not about the natural cycle of organic life and death, but about the life which is something more, something much bigger.

Life is not something you can own – it’s a story that has been given to you, it is your sparking moment to be born, your moment in eternity to come alive, to form as a soul, to become a flame that burns on and on.

From the moment of my birth the chains of civilization were wrapped around me. I was stamped with the mark. With punishments and rewards I learned to ignore the nourishment of my soul and to cage it in a box of fears and anxieties. Unless I wore the mark and conformed to the civilization I was born into, I could not earn my daily bread and water needed to continue my organic life.

Everyone of us is born a slave into the world system, and none can escape it unless their spark becomes a flame, unless they become a soul that is alive, unless they sacrifice their organic life for that something “other” – that other kind of life.

How Did I Get Here?

Do you wonder if your time here is a accident of the great cosmic comedy?

Did you know it took years of genetic work, generations actually, to create you?

Has anyone told you that your time was appointed; as were your talents, skills, hungers, desires, strengths and weaknesses, so that you could accomplish the dream inside you?

Has anyone told you that the dream you keep burying inside yourself is your spark and the voice of the story that has been given you, and what’s going on around you is mostly illusions and distractions?

Helter Skelter  – or  – Riding The Bipolar Coaster

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When I was very young I used to dream of being able to ride endlessly on a roller coaster. I loved roller coasters, the ups and downs and all the funny ways it made my body feel. I felt alive on a roller coaster.

I would imagine in my dream that I had won some kind of prize that allowed me to ride the roller coaster over and over again, just waved on through each time the ride came to an end and back out onto the track, around and around, up and down, up and down.

Now, at age 45, and after 10 years of battling the symptoms of bipolar disorder with endless pharmaceutical drugs, I wonder if the dream I had as a child was a glimpse into my future, the place I am now. Now I ride a bipolar coaster, like I’m strapped in and I can’t get off of this ride – it never stops – I just go round and round again.

At age five it was a dream that has become twisted over the last forty years into an illness… a mental illness. Is it a prize and a dream or is it a mental illness? Have I been missing out on something amazing about myself or am I really just broken machinery?

End of Helter Skelter – Part One

To be continued…

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The Turning – A Mythical, Non-Fiction Story

The Turning | June 2008 – June 2015

The Beginning…

the-turning-crop-bIt was just a thought that hit me last June, middle of the afternoon, and I jotted it down on a scrap of paper, and went on with my day – The Turning – 7 Years – 6/2008 – 6/2015…

I didn’t give it another thought for a few days, until I came across the scrap of paper with my note. It seemed liked an ominous, or important sounding event, and I had no idea at that point what kind of a whirlpool I was being pulled into…

To some people it might seem strange to follow a strange thought, an “out-of-the-blue” kind of thought, but I’m used to these kinds of thoughts or impressions – they have their own particular resonance, like intelligence riding in a wave length being picked up my a human receiver. I write them down, and I’ve been writing them down for years.

I think I’ve always been tuned to these frequencies or waves, and ever since I was fifteen my receiver has been tuned finer and finer, and now I hear the words being sent rather than just having to rely on guesses made from impressions and misunderstood visions that are part of the language of the unconscious.

My world is a world just like yours, and our paths may cross every day, but I see things you don’t and have heard things you can not hear because I live in this world and another.

It took me a long time to understand how different the worlds are – for a long time I thought they were one world, but now I understand that I just see more than most people, and certainly not as much as others see… I call this world “The Natural Super-Natural”…

Introducing The Wind…

My way of moving through the world can best be described as being like the wind.

Here’s a poem I wrote back in January of 1999 called “I Am The Wind” that illustrates what I mean:

I am the wind
and the Lord trains me like the wind
with pressures high and low
to guide me on the way

The wind carries the weather
that guides our every day
and though no one sees it
everyone feels it,
and sees it’s effects everywhere

The clouds and rains are carried by the wind
out of the desert and from the north,
down every street
and across every path,
through cracks in windows,
and under every door,
and like the poet says
“you don’t need a weatherman
to tell you which way the wind blows”

Blowing hot like fire or cold as ice
the same wind blows
when it is sent

The wind strengthen the plants
and gives music to our chimes
and all is the work
of the mighty Hand of God

The Lord walks on the wings of the wind
a whisper on it’s breath
We rejoice as it lifts our kites
though it brings terrors in the night

A breeze, a gust, a north wind
a hurricane, a tornado…
Gentle and awesome might
in the Hand of the Almighty
No one can stand before the wind

January 9, 1999

 

I wrote that over ten years ago, a long time before I learned last October that my Mayan day sign on their sacred calendar is The Wind – a Tone 5 Wind or the North Wind, known Ho Ik  – The Empowering Wind – on this ancient calendar called The Tzolkin.

tzolkinThe Tzolkin is divided into 20 day signs of 13 tones each that create a cycle of twenty different 13 day “weeks” called Trecenas. The tones and the day signs roll endlessly together like a wheel inside a wheel.

The complete cycle takes 260 days, and is about the same length as the gestation period. Simply put, the Maya believe that each of us is one of 260 pieces of the sun, and when we are born or come through the water we are marked by the sun, giving each of us basic identity that marks our path for us.

A part of our journey in life is to find harmony with the other 259 pieces of the sun.

Finding out my day sign was ‘The Wind” sent a shock-wave of reflection through me that I’m still feeling today – about nine months later – because it was a completely accurate description of myself.

If you are curious about your Mayan day sign you can go here : The Maya Tzolkin Explorer

My Details…

My birth date is June 18, 1964 and I was born shortly after two in the afternoon in Glendale, California at the second hospital my mother had to go to in order for me to be born, and here I entered this world in the Zodiac sign of Gemini, The Twins, in the Chinese Year of The Dragon.

In ancient China the dragons are considered the winds and the bringers of rain. In the Zodiac, Gemini, the Twins, are guided by Mercury and are considered the messengers of the gods, and the messengers of the gods ride on the wind…

If you were to see me in a certain way, you would see a blue, two-headed dragon (more on the two-headed part later) that rides the storms and delivers the messages of heaven – but very few can see that way… most people see the collections of cells that contain my consciousness, my physical body, and think that’s me, Jon.

It is and it isn’t, and where the line between the worlds exists is one of the mystery I explore…

In a way, I can see myself as a consciousness or a collective-consciousness that acts as care-taker over a massive super-organism of cells that are all individuals in their own right. It’s as if my body were a galaxy and my awareness was the collective-consciousness of all the billions of individual parts. Out of many, one – onehumanbeing.

Next – Chapter One – Helter Skelter

Note: The Turning is an ongoing work of fiction, growing organically, from now till 2015, and may be changed or edited further…

Every Person’s House Is An Island

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Click to view my Google Map for this drawing…

Much has been going on in my life, and I’ll be catching everyone up shortly.

But for the moment…

Here’s a piece I did the other day… I’m going through my large collection of Long Beach photos from the last few years, and dug this one out to finish the piece I’ve seen in my head every time I walk by this house.

This house is a few blocks from our apartment/studio, on First Street in Bluff Park, a very beautiful neighborhood on the bluff overlooking the beach with a view of the Queen Mary and looking out towards Catalina Island across the channel.

When I took the photo of the house which I used here, I pictured it in my head as isolated from all the other houses – on an island of sorts with waves lapping where the street is now…

There are a few other houses that give me the same feel, maybe I’ll put them on an island too.